i dont know when or what i last talked about. i guess now is a good time to start writing again.
Just about a week to go before AX. I'm a little anxious. I've been going to the gym again for the past three or four weeks now. I haven't really changed in weight but i do feel stronger. I dont know if i look any different though. Just a few more days left so i'm really going to hit the gym harder. I haven't really maxed out and i've kind of started to but im not really sore the next few days. It could be im not training hard enough but i have noticed that i sleep straight through the night and my body kind of hurts in the morning so i go back to sleep. lol.
I dont really know what i really want to talk about now. I just wanted to start this up again for my own benefit despite what might happen in the future should someone read this again. I've been warned before about this crap and told that its better to write it as opposed to typing it but that could be compromised just as well. so eh. whatever.
i did look back at a few things again today so that's what inspired me to start a new entry. there's a huge gap again. I guess i kind of wish i wrote a little more. There's just bits and pieces from the end of last year and probably close to nothing for this year. its over half way through now.
I looked at what i wrote about michelle back in november. Yeah, my fears of what the final outcome would be, came to pass and were justified. I guess it was more like I knew where things were heading and I didn't want to accept that. I wanted to hold on to it for as long as i could. More foolish and childish behavior and response from me.
Oh that reminds me. I finally got to talk to Tiffany a few days ago but it ended in an argument. wow. what else is new, right? she sited that i talk too much and that i dont let anyone else talk. kind of pissed me off... well it pissed me off a lot. i couldn't shake it off for a while. I started to internalize it like i always do and it did numbers on me again. sigh. again, i've been told there's no point in trying to keep her as a friend if all she ever does is eventually tear me down. She's toxic. lol. something i picked up from michelle. =P. i picked up a lot from her and i'm glad she was able to enter my life when she did. I still miss her but, like i always say, we talked about this over and over again.
at any rate, i should go to bed. I need to hit the gym hard tomorrow and Derek is having people over later tomorrow night. I also need to get started on my shirt. AX is coming up really fast. I feel so unprepared for everything.
Just about a week to go before AX. I'm a little anxious. I've been going to the gym again for the past three or four weeks now. I haven't really changed in weight but i do feel stronger. I dont know if i look any different though. Just a few more days left so i'm really going to hit the gym harder. I haven't really maxed out and i've kind of started to but im not really sore the next few days. It could be im not training hard enough but i have noticed that i sleep straight through the night and my body kind of hurts in the morning so i go back to sleep. lol.
I dont really know what i really want to talk about now. I just wanted to start this up again for my own benefit despite what might happen in the future should someone read this again. I've been warned before about this crap and told that its better to write it as opposed to typing it but that could be compromised just as well. so eh. whatever.
i did look back at a few things again today so that's what inspired me to start a new entry. there's a huge gap again. I guess i kind of wish i wrote a little more. There's just bits and pieces from the end of last year and probably close to nothing for this year. its over half way through now.
I looked at what i wrote about michelle back in november. Yeah, my fears of what the final outcome would be, came to pass and were justified. I guess it was more like I knew where things were heading and I didn't want to accept that. I wanted to hold on to it for as long as i could. More foolish and childish behavior and response from me.
Oh that reminds me. I finally got to talk to Tiffany a few days ago but it ended in an argument. wow. what else is new, right? she sited that i talk too much and that i dont let anyone else talk. kind of pissed me off... well it pissed me off a lot. i couldn't shake it off for a while. I started to internalize it like i always do and it did numbers on me again. sigh. again, i've been told there's no point in trying to keep her as a friend if all she ever does is eventually tear me down. She's toxic. lol. something i picked up from michelle. =P. i picked up a lot from her and i'm glad she was able to enter my life when she did. I still miss her but, like i always say, we talked about this over and over again.
at any rate, i should go to bed. I need to hit the gym hard tomorrow and Derek is having people over later tomorrow night. I also need to get started on my shirt. AX is coming up really fast. I feel so unprepared for everything.
